The Joy Diet by Martha Beck

Author:Martha Beck
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780307453143
Publisher: Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2008-06-02T16:00:00+00:00

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THE JOY DIET DEFINITION OF “TREAT”

Treat: Anything that makes you feel like smiling.

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Some people seem surprised when I tell them this definition, mainly because of its emphasis on smiling. I began using it after reading the work of monk and activist Thich Nhat Hanh, who writes a great deal about smiling and claims, “If a child smiles, if an adult smiles, that is very important.” Most of my clients don't believe this. After all, they argue, most humans smile hundreds of times a day, for a host of reasons (and we're not the only ones; Cookie is smiling at me right now, which I suspect means he is plotting insurrection). This is absolutely true. We get so used to pleasantly baring our teeth as a matter of social propriety or expediency that our smiles become as meaningless as a prostitute's caress.

But a socially appropriate, unfelt smile is very different from a spontaneous one. A genuine smile, like a sneeze or a yawn, instigates itself and is not totally under your control. It goes along with a certain inner sensation, different for each of us but unmistakable when you feel it. For you, it may be a sense of bubbling pleasure, or a tendency to hum, or a little tickle in your heart. You may not always smile when you feel it, but you certainly wouldn't mind. By contrast, any other sort of smile is a small violation of the true self.

Don't believe it? Try this: Put on a big old smile, right now. How does that feel? If you were in a pretty good mood already, it may have brightened you up even further, like an emotional tickle. If you're seriously unhappy, however, you'll probably find that smiling feels not only like an effort, but a betrayal. Call up the memory of a situation where you felt you had to smile even though you were sad or in pain, and you'll likely recall a sense of profound violation. Smiling is very serious business to our bodies and hearts, and to practice this part of the Joy Diet, you must treat it with respect. So . . .

Treat Step 1: Compile a List of Spontaneous Smile Sparkers

Start Menu Item #6 by simply observing your own smiling patterns for a day or two. Don't make any effort to control yourself; just watch. Can you feel what it's like when a smile bubbles up (whether or not you actually grin)? Are most of your smiles calculated to have some social effect, or do you find yourself beaming even when there's nothing to be gained by it? Is it different when you feel smilish because you find something funny, see someone you love, or succeed in some endeavor? Most important of all, when do you feel a spontaneous tendency to smile? Are your spontaneous smiles brief and fleeting, or do they ever seem to come all the way from your toes?

If you discover that you never feel like smiling at all, you don't just need the Joy Diet, you need serious help.

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